Life is cyclical. The world revolves around the sun on its 365-day journey, and so does our life here on the little blue marble. As much as we like to think that our lives are exciting and dynamic, we end up doing the same ad nauseam every year, albeit with a few small changes.
No tradition shows this more than the New Year’s resolution. Every year we swear that we will make some positive changes – drink less, eat better, control our moods better, find a new job, etc. – but we all know in the back of our minds that we will give up those attempts before the Snow melts.
Nonetheless, we make resolutions. And we’re honestly trying to make them stay, or at least I’m doing it. So we came up with nine tattoo-centric New Year’s resolutions that we should all do our best to live up to in 2023.
1. Be a good customer
I don’t know about you, but I feel like every single person who works with the public – from bartenders to hairstylists to tattoo artists – has had to deal with a lot of crazy people these days. It seems like two years ago we all forgot how to behave in public and have done very little to relearn our social etiquette. There’s a reason we’re able to produce 45 Crazy Client videos per season. So just be kind, be graceful, and treat your artist well. Or you end up in one of these:
2. Be a friendly tattoo artist
Kindness should go both ways. Gone are the days when it was cool for a tattoo artist to be a jerk just because they can. Intimidating customers has never been a great look, and in 2023 it’s an especially bad one. There’s no need to tell an 18-year-old kid that his idea is asshole and they should fuck off when you can just be kind and explain that that’s not the kind of tattoo you’re doing and sending them on the way.
3. Stop getting horrible tattoos
See, I know art is subjective, but there’s absolutely no reason people should get bad tattoos in 2023. I’m not talking about ideas that seem silly or weird; I’m talking misspelling, nothing but blown lines and staph infections. It’s so easy to research an artist and even easier to find a responsible shop. Tattooing isn’t underground anymore, you don’t have to get tattooed in your kitchen by a guy who is oddly willing to get paid in meth. Every artist has a portfolio online, every phone has access to a dictionary. There are no more excuses.
4. Stop trying to predict the future with a tattoo
Every year I have to write about a sports fan who went viral for getting a tattoo predicting his team would win a championship. Sometimes it goes viral before the championship even happens, other times it’s just a buildup of glee. Last year it was Celtics Kid. I’ll lose what’s left of my fragile mind if I ever have to write another article like this. Please, by God, stop this. And don’t do what the Ravens tattoo artist does does either. Maybe just hold back with any sports tattoos.
5. Get that silly tattoo you’ve been putting off
We all have that one tattoo idea that we’ve been thinking about but haven’t pulled the trigger yet. In the words of Shia LaBoeuf and an unknown shoe company: “Just do it!” Tattoo reality shows have drilled into us that if you put something on your skin forever it has to be full of meaning, but that’s just a lot of nonsense. Life is short. This asteroid is fast approaching and Bruce Willis won’t save us, go ahead and get this “Armageddon” tattoo today!
6. Don’t be afraid to travel to get inked
Instagram (and other social media) has brought the big wide world closer to us than ever before. I don’t know about you, but there are at least a dozen times a day that I see a dope artist on my feed and check where they’re from, and then I sigh in disappointment when that place is on the other side Sea. But that’s loser talk. What I should do is say, “How cool would it be to go there [insert cool location here] and get a tattoo from this artist I admire?” The answer is that it would be freaking awesome to do it and I absolutely should. See the world and get a tattoo.
7. Take care of those tattoos!
This is one of those actionable items that requires almost no effort. Just keep it clean, stay out of the sun, don’t swim, and don’t pick on it. That’s all! And yet we all think we know better and ignore these simple rules. Don’t be an idiot and ruin your tattoo.
It’s called sunscreen. Wear it, dammit!
8. Subscribe to Inked Magazine
It is so easy! And indirectly it pays my rent. I also use subscription earnings to do things like buy food and survive. You can subscribe here!
9. Do whatever the hell you want
Would you like to get a tattoo of Squidward fighting a clown? Do it. Don’t want to get a single tattoo all year? Cool. Thinking about blacking out that sleeve you got in college for $500 that you absolutely loathe? Black it into oblivion, friend. I hate to repeat this, but life is short. Go out and really live it. Happy New Year, Inked readers! Let’s make 2023 an amazing year!