SS: no It’s especially unlikely to happen if it’s your first time. The first time you’re really just exploring. Beyond that, don’t set any goals. Let the experience be whatever it will be.
AL: No, and unless you know your body well, your orgasm can be elusive. Everyone defines “sex” differently. For some, sex means that the penis was in the vagina. For others, it may involve anal or oral sex.
8. Does my partner Do you have to have an orgasm for sex to count?
SS: Of course not. Why set such goals? It’s stupid.
9. Will sex hurt?
GE: Having sex for the first time can be more uncomfortable than painful. Just use lots of lube for easy penetration and you’ll be fine.
SS: Many, but not all [people with vaginas] report that there is pain the first time. Most describe it as no big deal. If you find that it hurts a lot, consult your gynecologist. Don’t do it if it hurts a lot.
10. Can I have sex while I’m on my period?
GE: Yes. Your period doesn’t affect whether or not you can have sex.
SS: Yes. Just remember to put a towel under you.
RB: Absolutely! And again, just because you have your period doesn’t mean you shouldn’t protect yourself from STDs and pregnancy.
AL: Yes. Remember that you can get pregnant even though you are on your period. Therefore, be sure to use latex condoms.
11. Should I tell my partner I’m having sex for the first time?
GE: I think it’s important to be open and honest with someone you’re sleeping with. The first time is often an emotional experience – we can feel vulnerable afterwards. I would therefore advise you to talk about your experiences beforehand.
JF: You are not ready to have sex until you can be honest and vulnerable with your partner.
SS: It’s a good idea to be honest about it. That way you don’t have to wonder if they know or suspect. And you can tell them what you need to make them comfortable.
12. Who initiates it/how do you initiate it?
GE: That’s pretty subjective. You can initiate sex with kisses and foreplay before moving on to the main event. Always make sure you have protection on hand before beginning sex. When you want to have that “I’m ready” conversation with your partner, just tell them you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level.
RB: It doesn’t matter who initiates it. I don’t think one should have intercourse for the sake of intercourse. If you’re really in the mood and want to be intimate, it’s okay to initiate it by asking, but if your partner doesn’t enthusiastically agree, you need to respect that.
13. Should first sex feel special?
GE: Some people want their first time to be special; others don’t see it that way. You have to think about how YOU think about it and how you want your experience to be. Would you like it with a long-term partner surrounded by flowers? Want it to be a casual hookup? Or should it be spontaneous? Remember, you are in control of your own experience. Nobody can tell you what to do with your body.
