Image source: Getty / Alberto E. Rodríguez
Australian ballroom dancer Sharna Burgess – best known for her role on “Dancing With the Stars” – opens up about the unexpected side of motherhood.
In a recent post on Instagram, Burgess shared her experience of “intrusive mother thoughts,” which initially made her think “there was something wrong with my brain.” But they’re a very “real thing,” she said.
Burgess explained them as “those super dark thoughts about all the things that could go wrong. All the ways I or life could accidentally hurt my baby. Falling down stairs and holding onto it, illness, a car accident… the list goes on, but I won don’t share it. If you know, you know.”
Burgess welcomed her son Zane Walker earlier this year with her partner Brian Austin Green, an American actor known for his roles in shows like 90210 and Desperate Housewives.
“5 months and I’m still getting [intrusive thoughts] but I have learned to tame and understand them and most importantly… realized that I am not alone. That last one was a great relief,” Burgess continued. The dancer went on to explain why this type of negative thinking occurs.
“I think it makes sense too, we suddenly have this massive responsibility on us as we leave this hospital … in a diaper … lacking sleep, emotionally charged but also exhausted, let’s try to put ourselves back together and let’s not forget … in pain. This new responsibility is filled with love, wonder and awe, but no one is warning you of the same amount of fear that lives within you now. It’s the most excruciating love you’ve ever felt and it’s overwhelming, at least for me it was.”
According to Harvard Health Publishing, intrusive thoughts often stem from stress or anxiety — even biological or hormonal changes (like physical changes after childbirth) can trigger strange or disturbing thoughts. Often intrusive thoughts take the form of disturbing images that could include “violent or sexual, or a recurring fear that you are doing something inappropriate or embarrassing.” Notes from Harvard Health Publishing. These thoughts are not uncommon since the Anxiety and Depression Association of America estimates that about six million Americans are affected by intrusive thoughts.
“I shrug it off and recall a memory I can’t wait to do with Zane. All the firsts he has.”
However, there are ways to deal with it. That says the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Recognizing these thoughts, facing them head-on, managing stress, and focusing on healthy sleep habits can help with the severity.
Burgess shared two coping tools she uses, including breathing exercises.
“1. Deep cleansing breaths, inhaling and holding as much air as possible while saying, ‘I release all thoughts that do not serve me,’ then control the exhalation by imagining those words and the feeling they bring with them leave you Repeat repetition 2. When I need a quicker solution, I put my hand in front of my eyes and say “no” imagining that this image is destroyed and gone. I shake it off, recalling a memory I can’t wait to do with Zane. All the firsts he has are coming,” she writes.
When it comes to mental health — especially postpartum — it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. “You’re doing great mom, remember 🤍,” Burgess said.
