When the news broke that Matt Lucas was leaving The Great British Baking Show Yesterday there was a strange amount of joy in a long time baking fans. You’d think that the fan base of a show known for its sentimental sweetness wouldn’t be so outwardly cruel, but Matt Lucas was actually a very bad fit for the show. Either he didn’t add anything to the energy of the tent or infected the show with annoying, unfunny bits that derailed the bakers’ focus. Do you think I’m overreacting? I have the receipts! From his second episode, Lucas took chilling pleasure in taunting the bakers with mistimed information just to heighten the suspense.
I want to be clear: I don’t hate Matt Lucas. I just think he helped drop the quality of a great show precipitously. He wasn’t right for The Great British Baking Show‘s special brand of positivity and he’s never hooked up with co-host Noel Fielding. So much so as I was compiling this list I felt anger seething in my soul like never before. The terrifying cold at the outset, the obnoxious “Mexican Week” joke, the nagging time calls aimed at making the bakers laugh… it was just clear that Matt Lucas was, uh, very bad at this particular job.
If you don’t believe me, here are nine moments that sum up Matt Lucas’ run The Great British Baking Show. There are moments of terror and instances of actual meanness. Most notably, there’s a laundry list of painfully unfunny “jokes” we’ve all had to endure.
Matt Lucas, I wish you the best, but please don’t come by baking tent again!
1
Time Call Terrorism
When it was first announced that Matt Lucas would step in for Sandi Toksvig The Great British Baking Show, it didn’t seem like the tent was expecting disaster. But already in Episode 2, Matt proved that he was more villain than sport. On one of his earliest calls, he…lied straight to the bakers. He told the stressed-out group that they only had five minutes left… and ten minutes after that. The fake inspired Laura to literally call Matt “mean.” How did Luke react? Just by saying, “I’m bad.” As the saying goes, when someone tells you who they are, you should believe them.
2
mango man
Look, maybe it’s not the worst or most obnoxious thing Matt Lucas has ever done in the tent. But showing up with a mango on your head as a “manga” joke at the start of “Japanese Week” in 2020 really sums up what passed as comedy in it baking Epoch. Just between us, I wish he really was stuck with the Mango Head for the rest of his life. At the very least, it would have shown an absurd amount of commitment.
3
Worst cold open ever
*Heavy sigh* So technically, this disaster isn’t only Matt Lucas’ fault. All parties The Great British Baking Show should be tried in The Hague for this horrific spectacle of appalling nonsense. But Matt Lucas willingly participated in one of the worst Great British Baking Show Cold opens all the time and we can accost him for that. Lucas joined Noel Fielding, Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith to open the 2021 season with a terrifying song parody of Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart,” and it sure sounds like it’s Lucas on vocals. Prison! Jail for all involved!
4
“Meet the Flinstones” in German
Jürgen was one of the cutest and most talented participants in last year’s run of baking, so naturally Matt Lucas had to subject him to torture. Lucas asked German-born Jürgen if he wanted to listen the flints; ‘The Flintstones Theme song in German. Jürgen is a nice man, so he said yes. Lucas did exactly what he threatened and sang the flints; ‘The Flintstones Theme song in German… for a beat or two after the lifespan of the joke. It made the atmosphere in the tent painfully embarrassed and even distracted some bakers.
5
Saying “Flan Solo” should get you shot first
I would like to know what deep rooted trauma possesses The Great British Baking Show insisting on those awful, cheesy, unfunny cold openings every year. And then I’d happily throw a muffin at Matt Lucas for happily delivering the painful punny line, “I think you’re going to eat that flan by yourself.” And then I’d feel like running away and hiding so Matt Lucas never finds out I threw a muffin at his head. Actually, I don’t like being mean! This man drives me to my worst impulses!
6
The mess of “Mexican week”.
It seems someone The Great British Baking Show knew “Mexican Week” was a bad idea. How else do you explain a cold when Noel warns Matt that they can’t make Mexican jokes out of cultural sensitivity? But then Matt’s reply is the deeply unfunny “Not even Juan?”. He knows he’s an asshole and he doesn’t care. At least Noel looks embarrassed about it.
7
Okay, now you’re just trolling us
Speaking of never mind…remember how Matt started his run The Great British Baking Show by merrily ruining the time calls. Apparently someone told him that he would stress out the bakers in the tent even more. Last season he addressed the issue by promising a softer time call and then screeching one of the ugliest sounds I’ve ever heard. Imagine a vulture giving birth to a child when vultures don’t lay eggs. Fun. (Not.)
8th
Nobody likes you, old Mr. Showstopper man
Over the years, the forces are going to be on baking have wormed their way into “traditions” like the Hollywood handshake that were never traditions to begin with. Matt Lucas attempted this in 2022 with a “character” I call Old Mr. Showstopper Man. He started vamping on the line: “It all depends on the showstopper!” Eventually, he would deliver the line in an older man’s gasping voice. I understand it’s getting old to say, “It all depends on the showstopper!” but that doesn’t make it any funnier for the home viewer.
9
Need Noel’s supervision
For a time, it seemed like Noel Fielding was Chaos’ designated agent The Great British Baking Show Tent. This final season, however, proved that if Noel left Matt Lucas to fend for himself, the show would go off the rails. When Noel was ill for part of the finale, Matt was left to moderate alone. He managed to encourage Syabira to speak a terrible American accent, but his worst moment came when he was basically trying to get Abdul to feel happy about outlasting other bakers. The energy of The Great British Baking Show It has always been about fostering support and community. By trying to pit the Bakers against each other, Matt somehow missed the point. (And trying to twist Abdul’s words about his grief over the elimination of Maxy and Janusz? I hated it!)
Anyway, our long international nightmare is over. Never again shall Matt Lucas soil the tent.
Now we just have to hope his replacement isn’t even worse.