Image source: Getty / Bruce Glikas
Nick Cannon mourns the loss of his late son a year after his death. Zen Scott Cannon, his first child with model Alyssa Scott, died at the age of five months after being diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of brain cancer. On December 5, the soon-to-be father of 12 honored his son on the one-year anniversary of his death Instagram. “Physically I’m definitely on the mend, but mentally and spiritually I’m broken,” wrote Cannon, who recently was hospitalized with pneumonia.
“Losing a child has to be the hardest, darkest and most depressing experience that I will never get over.”
“I can’t believe it’s already been a year since the hardest day of my life,” he continued. “Such a painful anniversary. Losing a child has to be the hardest, darkest and most depressing experience that I will never get over. A mixture of guilt, pain and sadness is what I repress on a daily basis.”
He went on to explain that while he’s “far from perfect” and often “makes decisions in my life that many question,” he has a big heart and wishes his son could have known more of his love. “I love hard, I love big and I love with all my heart and soul and I only wish my little man could have felt more of that love while he was here on earth,” he said. “One of my spiritual guides recently told me that I am in the middle of one of the most challenging times of my life, but he encouraged me to stand firm and know that all of this will only make me stronger and not lean on mine own reason, but to rely on the peace that surpasses all.”
Admitting staying strong has been difficult, he added: “I know I wrote a post from my hospital bed a few days ago saying I’ll be fine and only I need rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I definitely need those prayers right now… Keep resting peacefully my son, Zen Scott Cannon. We love you forever.”
In 2021, Cannon tearfully announced on the December 7 episode of his talk show The Nick Cannon Show that his then-youngest son had died of brain cancer after battling hydrocephalus, the buildup of fluid in the brain. “I know so many people out there have experienced the kind of pain and grief that I am experiencing right now. We all know it,” he said at the time. “This is our time to say, ‘You never know what someone’s going through.’ Hug your people, hug your family, kiss someone, tell them you love them.”