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Nick cannon posted an emotional tribute to his son Zen, a year after he died of a brain tumor at just five months old. The 42-year-old TV host shared a photo of himself cradling Zen along with some other photos of Zen on Instagram as he recalled how difficult the day of his death was. He revealed that he had a sleepless night leading up to the “painful anniversary” of his death on Monday December 5th. “Mentally and spiritually I am broken,” he wrote. “I tossed and turned all night, and as much as I know I need rest, I couldn’t sleep at all last night.”
Nick called the day Zen died the “hardest day of [his] Life” and spoke about how he still has so many emotions after the sudden and unexpected death of his son. “Losing a child has to be the hardest, darkest and most depressing experience that I will never get over. A mixture of guilt, pain and sadness I suppress daily,” he wrote.
The Masked Singer The host also spoke about how hard he tries to share and spread love and said he wishes his son could have experienced it more in his short life. “I love big and I love with all my heart and soul and I only wish my little man could have felt more of that love while he was here on earth,” he wrote.
Nick also revealed that a spiritual leader had told him he was “in the middle of one of the most challenging times of the year [his] life,” and he spoke about his recent hospitalization for pneumonia. He said he could use prayers as he reflects on his son’s death. “I definitely need these prayers now,” he wrote with a heartbroken emoji. “Keep resting peacefully, my son, Zen Scott Cannon. We love you forever.”
Zen was Nick’s seventh child. He fathered the baby with Model Alyssa Scott in June 2021. Over the year, Alyssa has paid a number of heartbreaking tributes to her son. Almost a year after their son’s death, Nick and Alyssa announced they were expecting another child, his 12. She shared a nude photoshoot to share the news. “This is a MIRACLE and a BLESSING,” she wrote in the caption.
Alyssa made them Instagram privately, but before that she shared a moving memorial to Zen in August. “My body feels it. I’ve been close to tears for the past few days. I’m trying to keep the momentum going,” she wrote. “I miss my boy.”