How to French Kiss: Everything you need to know about tongue kissing +2023

Learning to French kiss is easier said than done. And a truly amazing blockbuster movie-style kiss has enough power to make you dizzy and weak in the knees. Does that sound cheesy? Because I’m pretty convinced that cheesy sayings were born after people had experienced a next-level make-out session.

Kissing can be the best, seriously. There’s almost nothing better than making out. Even as you get older, grow up and gain more experience with things other than kissing, it doesn’t lose its appeal.

Of course, kissing is an ~art~ and it takes time to perfect it. Trust me, we’re all afraid of being “bad” kissers, experienced or not, and we’ve all googled “what to do with your tongue when you kiss”. So if you’re feeling stressed about how to tongue kiss, you’re not alone.

French kissing is not something that any individual can do automatically without practice or tips. TBH, for the vast majority of us, sticking your tongue in someone’s mouth is scary when you’ve never done it before (and even if you have).

You want to have that incredible, weak-kneed, dizzying kissing session, not a drooling, dog-like experience with someone spitting at you all over. You may have seen people kissing passionately in movies and it may have seemed impulsive and spontaneous. In real life, you don’t want to “just go for it.” Make sure to always ask before kissing someone so you know you’re both sure you want to do this.

What is a French kiss?

This type of kissing goes by a few names: deep kiss, smooch, smooch, french kiss, tease. The idea is theoretically simple: the only difference between “regular” kissing and French kissing is that the latter involves a bit of tongue. However, how much tongue depends entirely on those kissing. The mouth is full of erogenous zones, so tongue kissing can often feel different than tongue-less kissing, aside from the obvious complement. French kissing is a relatively new expression in English language and culture, arriving in the US (and UK) in the early 20th century. It earned its name because French culture was seen as something more sexually adventurous and passionate.

To get you on the path to becoming a true smooch champion, we asked a few seasoned Maker-Outers for their best suggestions.

Here are a few golden tips for perfecting the French kiss.

Make some preparations

All lips are good lips, let’s start with that. But if you want to dress them up a little more for the occasion, there are a few options you can take. Lip gloss can be tempting… and it can also wreak complete havoc. The same goes for lipstick. If you want to soften things up for your partner, consider some lip balm. You can apply as much as you like without worrying about it all ending up on someone else’s face.

Start it off with some flirting

Taking the first step can be intimidating, but someone has to do it. If you’ve decided to adopt it, make sure and pay careful attention to your partner’s body language. Small, flirty touches can go a long way, but being direct is another good option. Telling someone you want to kiss them (and making sure they’re on the same page) can be a really empowering experience. Starting with a thoughtful conversation is the best way to set the scene—here are some questions to ask your crush to get started.


As with any other kiss or sexual situation, you want to make sure you are in a comfortable place. Attempting to French kiss on a crowded bus will be a lot less fun than at the park or at home. Even better if you’re somewhere where you can control the music, the lights, and a candle or two. Remember that everyone’s comfort level is different, and the areas where you’re comfortable kissing may not be the same for your partner. This is a great topic of conversation that will not only help you navigate this particular situation, but will also help you get to know your partner better.

Enthusiasm is important

Be passionate and forward-thinking while still being able to fully enjoy the moment…it really gives you a leg up too when you love the person you’re kissing. -Greg, 12 years kissing experience.

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